Mistletoe Mishap
by Songstone
Summary: After losing a bet, Deidara is forced to stand beneath the mistletoe on the day of his friend's Christmas Eve party. As Deidara is forced to pucker up, he can't help but think this is the worst Christmas ever. Until, of course, a certain redhead drops by.


**Mistletoe Mishap**

**A story by Songstone**

**HOLY POPCORN BALLS, I ACTUALLY FINISHED A HOLIDAY STORY ON TIME. 8DDDD And I'm SO proud of the results. xD It's a little corny and rough around the edges, but...it came out decent. xD And no, I couldn't help myself and just HAD to make it Mania-verse. xD;;**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

"A bet's a bet, blondie." Hidan's grin was way too wide; he was having more fun with this than imagined. "Now you stand right here and look pretty."

Deidara sighed, rolling his eyes. He grunted as Hidan pushed him forward and stood him in the entry way of their home. Glancing up briefly, the blond saw the mistletoe that Itachi had set up hanging not too far out of reach.

Why had he ever agreed to this stupid bet? He knew he sucked at playing cards, and when Hidan had given them the consequences of standing under the mistletoe all day for losing, he should have refused and never played the game.

But oh no, his pride wouldn't let him. And where did that get him? Directly beneath the mistletoe, that's where. And he had to stay there until Hidan gave him permission to leave. Given that today was the day of their Christmas Eve party and their friend's were going to stop by, Deidara seriously doubted that he would be allowed to leave his spot anytime soon...

"I almost feel sorry for you..." Itachi commented as he walked by the entry way. He paused and then smirked as he stepped over to Deidara. "Almost." He swooped in without a warning, and the blond squeaked when he suddenly had Itachi's lips over his own. The Uchiha held the kiss for a few seconds, then pulled away; their lips made a nice smacking sound as they parted.

"You ass!" Deidara squawked, face going bright red. "Not on the mouth, yeah!"

"Oh no." Hidan said, wagging a finger at Deidara, who paled at hearing that. "None of that pecking on the cheek shit, Dei. I'm talking full-on, mouth-to-mouth, lip-locks."

Deidara would have fainted if he wasn't dead-set on killing Hidan then and there. "_What_?" He demanded, eyes narrowing to slits. "You can't be serious."

"I am." Hidan said and grinned. He nudged Itachi out of the way with a bump from his hip to the other's, then smirked as he now stood in front of Deidara. He glanced up at the mistletoe that hung above both of their heads, as if he were checking to see if it was still there, then he tilted the blond's chin up with one hand and lightly pushed their mouths together.

"I hate you..." Deidara panted once Hidan had released him. He leaned back against the wall, a little winded; Hidan was almost as good of a kisser as Deidara himself was...

The white haired man sniggered and pat Deidara's hair. "Don't be like that. Where's your Christmas spirit?" He asked, smiling and looking _quite_ jolly. His eyes started to blink rapidly as he turned to walk away, though, and Deidara heard him spit out the word 'thermometer' again.

Hidan's sudden sputter of words had finally changed; he no longer used swear words during his tics. He had switched to more basic words. It was a regular Christmas miracle.

- - -

So far, Deidara had been standing beneath the mistletoe for going on two hours and he had kissed a total of fourteen people.

_Fourteen_.

Hidan had apparently called an old friend of theirs, Nagato, over to hang out for a while. He made it sound like he just wanted to become reacquainted with an old friend, but...did he _have_ to tell Nagato to bring his brothers along?

As Deidara remembered the brothers, from oldest to youngest, they were: Jigo, Asura, Nagato, Gaki, Taki, and Deva. Each of them had bright blue eyes and orange coloured hair; there really wasn't much difference with them in appearance when Deidara got a look at them. Sure, they all had gotten pierced beyond belief, but they were still recognizable.

Deidara wasn't going to say that it wasn't nice to see his old friend's again...but by all means, he didn't want to _kiss_ all of them!

Nagato (who had told them all that he went by the name "Pein" now), was the first to get trapped beneath the mistletoe with the blond. He kissed Deidara on the mouth quickly, since he wasn't one to appreciate guy on guy make-out sessions, he explained.

Gaki and Taki, the twins (who really looked _nothing_ alike now that they had grown up, Deidara observed), both kissed Deidara at the same time since they hadn't seemed to bother over taking turns. They both ended up kissing one side of Deidara's mouth at the same time, so it was a little bit awkward.

Asura tasted like onion rings when Deidara kissed him, and the blond had to put all of his will power into _not gagging_.

Jigo was a little better, actually. He was quick about getting it over with, like Pein, and he didn't taste like food, like Asura. Deidara might have been more relaxed around him if the man wasn't twice his size and frowning down at him and everyone else nearly constantly. Having Jigo's mouth over his, it felt to Deidara like he was about to be devoured rather than kissed.

The last to approach Deidara was Deva, the youngest brother. He and Deidara were known for having nearly the same fashion-sense and hairstyle; in middle school, Deva had been Deidara's...well, 'stalker' would be one way to phrase it.

Regretfully, Deidara had leaned forward to kiss the orange haired man, but had been surprised when Deva had grabbed either side of his face and held him still as he locked their lips together. The kiss nearly lasted a minute, and it was enough time to leave Deidara breathless and weak in the knees.

Nearly an hour later and Deidara _still_ thought he could feel Deva's tongue down his throat.

The only two women that had arrived were Konan, Pein's girlfriend, and Ann (short for 'Animal', Deidara later learned), his younger sister. Pein wouldn't have let Deidara kiss either one of them, even if the blond wanted to. Which he didn't. So it all worked out.

A handful of other's dropped by as well, and Deidara had had to tough it out and take kiss after kiss.

He thought his lips were going numb from all of the unwanted attention.

"And you're sure that Itachi can't take my place for just a minute?" Deidara pleaded with Hidan, tugging at the man's sleeve as he pinched his fingers together to emphasis 'a minute'.

"I wouldn't mind. Honestly." Itachi added as he lingered around by the hallway.

Hidan shrugged off Deidara's probing hands. "No, you guys can't switch places." He said, rolling his eyes. "Just suck it up, Dei. Seriously."

"Hmph." Deidara huffed, annoyed. "Easy for you to say; you didn't have to kiss anyone with onion breath, yeah..."

"And he's missing the party, Hidan. We can't let him spend the whole night here." Itachi said, seeming genuinely concerned.

The white haired man sighed, sounding annoyed. "Trust me, blondie. You're gonna want to hang around here for a few more minutes." He clicked his tongue and started blinking in rapid succession as his tics came suddenly. "Thermometer. Thermostat." He grunted.

"Whatever..." The blond grumbled, annoyed, as he watched Hidan grab Itachi by the arm and drag him away, leaving Deidara standing in the hallway on his own again.

As far as Deidara was concerned, this was the worst Christmas Eve party, ever. He had never been more miserable. He just wanted to go up to the restroom and rinse his mouth clean--after brushing his teeth at least ten times.

Why did he take that stupid bet? Why? The blond inwardly scolded himself for ever being so moronic that he would actually take such a wager when he knew full well that he was a horrible card player, and that Hidan cheated more often than not.

Groaning, the blond let his head fall back against the wall. "I'm such an idiot, yeah..." He sighed.

A knock suddenly sounded on the door to his left, and Deidara paled as he realized that there was another kiss waiting for him just outside...

"Come in..." He called warily, glancing to the side to see who would walk through the door.

The door opened a crack...

...The cold air rushed in and swirled around the hallway...

...And then a tall, bulky figure was blocking the doorway.

"Ah..." Deidara squeaked, knowing he had just turned two shades whiter. "K-Kakuzu...I didn't know you were i-invited, yeah..."

The brunette's eyes shifted Deidara's way when he heard his voice and he grunted in reply. "Your friend, Itachi, told me to come. I caught a ride with Kisame." He shrugged his way out of his coat and hung it up in the closet, shaking off a few white specks of snow from his hair.

"Kisame?" Ah, crap. "Oh, that's nice. Glad you could make it then, yeah." The blond sighed, feeling a shiver working it's way up his spine as Kakuzu approached the end of the hall, where he was standing beneath the mistletoe. "Uhm..."

Kakuzu cast him another look, and Deidara lost his voice. He meekly pointed upwards instead.

Green eyes moved up slowly, and when Kakuzu had taken a good look at the hanging leaf, he snorted and smirked, clearly amused. "Mistletoe, eh?" He asked.

"Y-yeah..." Deidara nodded. "I lost this bet..." He said, fiddling with his hands. "I'm supposed to...well, you know...with everyone who walks under that." He pointed up to the mistletoe. "...On the lips, yeah..." He sighed, face going red.

"So you've been here this whole time?" Kakuzu asked, quirking a brow. When Deidara nodded miserably, the man obviously tried not to smirk. "Kissing everyone?" Again, Deidara nodded and this time, Kakuzu allowed a smirk to show. "Got it." He said, choking back laughter and trying to look like he wasn't horribly amused by Deidara's misfortune. "Well, then..." He muttered. He brought a hand up and seized Deidara's chin quite suddenly, making the blond jump. "Hold still." And then Deidara was being kissed _again_.

Kakuzu's grip was quite rough on Deidara's chin, and he tilted the blond's head up in one quick snapping motion that was a bit painful on the neck. But his lips were surprisingly soft; he was just very pushy with his kissing, and Deidara muffled in complaint as his lips were pushed at until they parted open.

At least Kakuzu wasn't choking him with his tongue like Deva had done. He didn't even tongue him at all. He just licked around the outside of Deidara's lips, as if tasting him (which was an idea that sent a shiver of fear down Deidara's spine), then closed his mouth over the blond's lower lip. Just as Deidara was starting to see stars, Kakuzu pulled his mouth away and released the other's chin.

"See ya'." The brunette said, lifting his hand in a parting wave. And then he was gone; just like that. He left Deidara stunned and breathless as he entered the house the rest of the way, joining the party.

"Mmff...y-yeah..." Deidara wheezed, eyes wide. He slowly straightened himself out and began to comb through his bangs with his fingers, smoothing out the golden locks.

Wow! For such a big, intimidating guy, he really was a great kisser... And he didn't seem to be disgusted with kissing another guy. Huh...

"Bitch! Who invited you?" Ah. Seemed like Hidan had noticed Kakuzu's arrival. The two were soon off in a corner by themselves, arguing about one thing or another.

Deidara thought it was sort of cute how they had such hate for one another, and yet they always went off to be by themselves so that they could argue in peace. But he'd never say that aloud. Hidan would kill him.

"Nice weather outside, huh, Deidara?"

Deidara jumped and whirled to see whom had just spoken; he hadn't even heard the door open, but apparently someone else had just arrived.

"Oh! Kisame." Deidara relaxed--just a little. While he had gotten to know Kisame a little more and wasn't as scared of him as he had once been, the guy still gave him chills sometimes. Not to mention that now that he was here, Deidara was goinng to have to kiss _him_ too. "Nice weather?" He snorted. "Whatever floats your boat, yeah..."

Kisame chuckled at that and hung up his scarf and jacket in the hall closet, just as Kakuzu had done before him. "Seems like you've got a nice party goin' on." He commented, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he observed all of the people bustling around, talking or helping themselves in the kitchen.

"Hn. I wouldn't know." Deidara sighed. When Kisame fixed him with a questioning look, the blond just jerked his head up at the ceiling. "Lost a bet, yeah..."

Kisame lifted his head and blinked as he looked up at the mistletoe hanging over his head. He tilted his head to one side, then grinned as he realized what Deidara must have meant. "Ooh. A bet." He said, chuckling. He looked back down to Deidara as he rubbed the back of his head, awkwardly. "So, you...we..."

Deidara nodded slowly. "On the lips, too." He blushed and averted his eyes, hating to have to explain this again.

"The lips? Wouldn't it count if it were on the cheek...?" Kisame asked, coughing like he was a little uncomfortable.

Deidara slowly shook his head. "Not according to Hidan." He said. "So it has to be on the lips, yeah."

"Oh. Uhm..."

"You...you don't really have to...I'm sure Hidan won't notice--"

"No, it's okay." Kisame laughed softly. "Just a lil' awkward, y'know..." He shrugged and slowly brought himself down to Deidara's level.

"Yeah...tell me about it..." Deidara mumbled, though he wasn't sure which awkward thing Kisame meant; the 'kissing another guy part', or the 'kissing my co-worker' part?

Either way, Deidara had Kisame's lips over his in the next second and lightly returned the kiss. It was simple; two sets of lips touching. Nothing fancy, though Deidara appreciated the delicate way Kisame moved his mouth. Like he was being extra cautious. The blond found that to be really...well, 'sweet' just wouldn't fit when describing Kisame, so he went with the word 'nice'.

In the next second it was over, and Deidara breathed out slowly.

"Well, I hope you're able to get out of this bet soon." Kisame said once he'd stood to his full height again, his cheeks and nose turning purple as he blushed.

"Surely it can't be much longer..." Deidara agreed with a nod. "But go on, I'll...I'll be around sooner or later. Hopefully, yeah." He sincerely hoped that Hidan wouldn't have him stand there in order to kiss everyone _again_ as they left the building...

"Okay." Kisame chuckled. He set off into the living room, greeting Kakuzu and Hidan when he'd spotted them.

Itachi, who was in the kitchen, poked his head out from around the corner. He looked over at Kisame, then to Deidara, who still stood in the doorway, blushing. The Uchiha huffed lightly, catching the blond's attention, then stuck his nose up slightly. "Be glad that that was only part of the bet..." He muttered.

"Tch." Deidara rolled his eyes. He waved Itachi off with one hand; he knew that the Uchiha was still after Kisame, so it wasn't like he was going to impose on his attempts or anything. Itachi could just be paranoid sometimes.

"Hmph." Itachi nodded his head, then took off into the common room, making a bee-line straight for the blue skinned male.

Deidara sighed and leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and his eyes closed. He didn't want to have to watch Itachi flipping his hair or batting his pretty eyes up at Kisame; it was sickening enough to think about, but when it was happening, live-action, in your living room? Ick.

Deidara sighed again, shifting from side to side uncomfortably. His feet hurt, he was bored here all by himself, and he had to go to the bathroom now. This was most definately the worst Christmas Eve ever..._ever_.

"Oh, _man_, it's cold!"

This time, Deidara had heard the door open. He just hadn't bothered with looking to see who his next kiss would be.

"Mm." He mumbled in agreement. He felt the cold bite of the December air around his ankles whenever anyone opened the door, so he really couldn't argue with that statement.

"So, Deidara, how's the party? Did I miss much?"

The blond's eyebrows knitted together slowly as he realized that this voice was more...distinct. He heard it a lot more often nowadays. Slowly, the blond turned his head to the side and opened his eyes again, blinking across at the new arrival.

This time, he smiled and lifted a hand in a wave. "Hey, Sasori." He greeted the redhead. He glanced over his shoulder at the other's further into the house and shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. Everyone seems to be just talking, yeah." So, Sasori was going to be his next kiss? Deidara couldn't help but to grin a little bit; he blushed a little from the thought of kissing his newest friend. Not that he wouldn't mind, but...he had only day dreamed about that kind of thing happening. And...and what if Sasori refused, or thought he was weird for doing such a thing? Would he think he was too weird to hang around, or something?

"Hn. All right." The redhead made his way over to stand besides the blond after he had disposed of his belongings like everyone else. He stuffed his hands down his pockets and just leaned against the wall opposite Deidara. "So, you hiding out here, or something?" He questioned, nodding in Deidara's direction.

"Huh? Oh...no." Deidara shook his head slowly, face flushing slightly as he inwardly smacked himself across the face. He didn't want to have to explain...

"Hm?" Sasori shrugged. He glanced back into the living room and across towards the kitchen, observing everyone as they bustled about. He gave a snort of amusement and then pointed out Kakuzu and Hidan. "Those two are somethin' else when they fight." He muttered.

Deidara chuckled and nodded slowly, glancing over towards the mentioned men. Hidan's tics were obvious, even from Deidara's stand-point. He could almost hear all of what they were saying over the music playing and the chatter the other's were making.

Kakuzu had gotten into the habit of _mocking_ Hidan when he had a tic, and that annoyed the white haired man to no end, understandably. That was what was happening now, since Deidara heard Hidan as clear as a bell; "Thermometer."

And then Kakuzu, not a second too late; "Yahtzee."

Hidan erupted into a small temper tantrum in the next second, after his tics had stopped, and Deidara shook his head in unison with Sasori as everyone else turned to look at the duo.

"They're embarrassing." Sasori grunted.

Deidara scoffed. "Only when you put them together, yeah."

Sasori smirked and nodded. "True..."

The blond chewed at his lip as he glanced upwards warily, watching the mistletoe; should he let Sasori know that it was there? Should he tell him about the bet? Maybe he could let Sasori slip into the party and hope Hidan wouldn't notice and bitch at him later. Surely skipping one person wouldn't be a big deal.

"Oh...geez..." Sasori suddenly coughed and turned his gaze to his shoes. When Deidara fixed him with a questioning look, the redhead shifted to lean against the wall more comfortably. "Itachi is, well...I didn't know he knew how to dance like that..." He jerked a thumb into the common room.

Deidara didn't want to look; he paled a bit before his face darkened a few shades of pink. He forced a small, awkward laugh and waved a hand. "He's...full of surprises, yeah."

"Yeah..." Sasori nodded, then chuckled and shook his head as he looked towards Deidara. "He managed to make Kisame turn royal purple; that's talent."

The blond laughed at the mental image, still not wanting to look into the room and see how Itachi was dancing. That would be _way_ too embarrassing for him, and he thought that he had taken enough humiliation for one day.

And it was then that Deidara figured it wouldn't matter if Sasori didn't kiss him. He was tired of standing around here anyway, and whether Hidan wanted him to or not, he was leaving. The Bet be damned.

He also wouldn't admit to himself that the real reason why he had made this decision could quite possibly be because the thought of proposing a kiss to the redhead made his stomach knot up and his palms sweat in nervousness.

"Well, if you want anything to eat or drink, you can help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen, yeah." He said, smiling slightly across at the redhead.

"Hn? Oh." Sasori shrugged and nodded. "Sure, I guess." He pushed himself away from the wall and stretched his neck from side to side a bit. He took one step towards the kitchen, then blinked over at Deidara. "You comin'?"

"Uhm...yeah, sure." Deidara nodded, slowly. He glanced Hidan's way briefly, remembered his 'bet be damned' decision just moments ago, and pushed himself away from the wall, taking a step after Sasori--

--only to have his arm be grabbed at quite suddenly.

"H-hey! What are you--?" Deidara blinked at Sasori in surprise as the redhead held his arm captive in an impressive grip.

The redhead quirked a brow up at him, then smirked; very slowly. "Deidara, did you even notice the mistletoe over our heads, or did you just not want to kiss me?" Sasori's tone was bemused and light as he watched as Deidara's jaw fell agape just slightly.

"You...noticed." The blond blinked in surprise, feeling the heat on his cheeks growing.

Sasori's eyelids fluttered as he rolled his eyes. "Of course." He scoffed. His grip on Deidara's arm loosened a bit and his hand slid down the blond's arm until he was holding his wrist rather than his forearm.

Deidara gave a nervous bark of laughter. "Well, I just didn't think you'd be...into doing something like that, yeah..." He said quietly. "And I thought you'd think I'm weird or something if I mentioned anything." He chuckled half-heartedly and began to shift from foot to foot, feeling awkward.

"Tch. Don't be stupid." Sasori shook his head. Then he got a rather strange glint in his eye and smirked up at Deidara. "Now, pucker up."

"Wha--" And then Deidara was suddenly staring up at his ceiling.

Sasori had kicked Deidara's legs out from beneath him lightly, making the blond fall backwards quite suddenly. Deidara waited for impact when his back would strike the floor, but it never came. Instead, he was shocked to realize that Sasori had _caught_ him with one arm and was supporting him.

And then, before he got the chance to ask questions, Sasori smiled down to him mischievously and lowered his head down, crashing their lips together without warning.

Deidara's eyes widened in shock and he gasped; his mouth fell open slightly, and not too long afterward, he felt something warm and wet sliding between his lips. It took him half a second to discover that it was Sasori, flicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

The blond whined faintly, squirming a bit and flailing his arms for a moment, completely taken aback, before he gripped at Sasori's shoulders for support. He wasn't sure what to do next; push him away? No, he realized, he didn't want to do _that_...

Instead, Deidara did the exact opposite; he clutched at the redhead's shirt tightly and craned his neck upwards, into the meeting of their mouths. He moved his tongue against the underside of Sasori's slowly, shivering at the other's own distinct taste as it flooded his senses.

The blond gasped again and made a sound quite un-befitting for a man as Sasori caught his tongue between his lips and sucked lightly; the hand that had been placed on Deidara's hip moved considerably lower, until Sasori was gripping at the blond's thigh lightly. All of these sensations made Deidara's head spin and he could have sworn that he was about to pass out since he felt (pleasantly) overwhelmed.

By the time that the warm, slippery feeling had retreated from his mouth and Deidara was being pulled upright again, the blond's knees felt like jell-o and he was sure that he would collapse as soon as his full weight was on them again. Thankfully, they held out and he stood on quivering legs, mouth still ajar, as he blinked out into empty space. The stars were back, and this time they were circling his head dizzily.

"Merry Christmas, Dei." Sasori chuckled, amused by the blond's powerful reaction, and then patted his back. "Now come on. Let's get some eggnog, or something."

"...'Kay..." Deidara agreed breathlessly as he followed after Sasori, staying only one step behind the redhead.

Hidan glanced his way only once as they passed him on the way to the kitchen, and the man tilted his head as if asking why the blond was away from the hallway. Upon noticing Sasori leading Deidara, however, Hidan had smirked and elbowed Itachi, pointing out the two as they made their way into the kitchen.

Deidara, now giddy with a hazy sort of delight, smiled at his two friends and secretly mouthed the words; "Best. Christmas. _Ever_."

**So, I actually put Pein and his brother's (and sister) into this oneshot. xD They probably won't make a cameo in the actual fic, but they exist! See? 8D (Also, try and guess which brother was which Pein; I had to name them, so I chose a name closest to their title. xD) Tobi wasn't in here, but there IS a reason. D: It should pop up in Mania sometime soon. xD**

ANYWAY, I wish you guys all a Merry Christmas! 8D I hope you all have a good day! Much love! 


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